A sunny day [#11]

Blue sky, some clouds and a slight breeze. The sun shining ever so mildly. A perfect day, a perfect moment. Johnny was so absorbed by it he couldn’t think. An amazing feeling, powered by – nay, fed by – pure happiness. Nothing to distract him, not a sound in range, not a thought in mind. “What-” Johnny suppressed his thought. “What if-” Another string suppressed. Johnny didn’t want to think about it, but he knew it was coming. He knew at some point a thought would fill the void. Finally he gave up and let go. “What if this is the happiest moment in my life? What if I’ll never be this happy? This content, this satisfied?” Johnny thought. “What if all experiences after this one will suck balls? Will I ever be able to be happy again? My life, worthless, meaningless, without value, without happiness, lonely, sad…?” As Johnny fell deeper in this train of thoughts, with flashes of his past, his recent youth, clouds began to appear, dark clouds, the air moistened, rain drops falling, it was raining, not a little, a lot. The sky, no longer blue but greyish black, blocking out the sun completely leaving a dark sad sea above. Thick drops of cold water falling from the sky, the ground wet, soaked from head to toe. As Johnny walked away from that perfect moment in his life, the squeaking of his shoes became slower, his feet became heavier until the point he could no longer carry them. He fell, he fell hard, arms swinging forward. Face in the wet grass. Head, heavy, legs, immovable, hands, numb. Johnny cried as the water got higher and higher. He turned his head to postpone what was to come. Half his face already gone, swallowed by the water, he gasped for air with the corner of his mouth, still trying but failing to lift his head. One last deep breath, one last chance of hope. Then nothing.
A sudden state of presence as Johnny woke up. Eyes wide, looking around wildly, heavy breathing, genuine fear. Then Johnny remembered where he was and knew he had little left to fear.

17 year old Johnny, in the prime of his life, 17 year old John, paralyzed from the neck down.

I might follow up on this on this teaser with more than just a short story.

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